The Ex Factor

Organising a party can be a stressful affair, organising catering, venue, entertainments etc. coupled with the stress of formulating a strategy that will get all of your 'fashionably' late friends to the venue at roughly the same time is often more of a trial than we expect (I have cryptic little numbers marked in my address book next to certain names which allow me to keep tabs on roughly how late each friend is likely to be. Hence, if the party begins at 8 o'clock sharp, Rita gets told 7, Rick 7.30 and Pam, who is known for a certain excess enthusiasm, 8.15). Even with the best laid plans, you can still be reasonably sure that at any medium sized social event, a portion of your friends will show up late and drunk; another contingent will show up too early, proceed to empty the bar of house gin and be busy acting like foaming degenerates by the time your respectable aunt from Colchester arrives (on time) and still more will set out from their respective homes only to be distracted by shiny things, delayed by clueless minicab drivers, arrested, press-ganged into the navy or otherwise waylaid in fantastic and barely believable ways. Meanwhile the caterers 'forget' to provide a vegetarian option, the venue's lighting develops an unexpected fault leaving the party to continue by the light of candles and/or neon strip lights and the band shows up minutes before the venue closes with a two stringed guitar and a dented sousaphone.